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Judge Me Not!

October 12, 2010

I had a weird experience today. An acquaintance came up to me and asked, “Have you been to a temple?” A little shocked by the question, I gave a vehement “YES” as a reply. His mocking look and the next statement, got me thinking. “You, who drink and party so much, go to a temple?”

Why is it that people assume that if a girl wants to kick up her heels and have a glass of wine or dance the night away, cannot be a woman who is religious, celebrates all festivals with gusto and takes care of her home too? Why is it that a woman is considered ‘frisky‘ just because she likes to have a bit of fun in life? Is this a phenomenon, just amongst Indians or is it a global stigma? Why is it so difficult for men to imagine a woman be those 2 characters in 1?

I am the girl who likes to wear pretty clothes, nurse a glass of wine or Margarita and kick up a storm at a party. I am the woman who likes to celebrate all the festivals with complete dedication, go to temples and immerse myself in its holiness and take care of my home as if it were my child. I am the woman who sees myself 3 years down the line, having a baby and still having my night-outs of fun and frolic. What is wrong in that? It is surprising to hear men (most stigmas against women come from them, unfortunately) go, “oh! you cook? oh! you pray and go to the temple?” No honey, God never instructed me to quit drinking and having fun just so that I can pray to Him. No darlings, God never wanted me to lead a life of total abandonment just so that He can make his presence felt in my home. I believe, he exists next to me while I am dancing and sits next to me while I have my drink.

My mother, who I idolize, thinks I am That Woman. My Pati believes I am That Woman. I do not need any one else to judge me. Yet, somewhere the thought tugs my heart and I want to give explanation of my existence and my lifestyle.

If you got the answer, please enlighten me..because this ‘judging’ is beyond me.

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4 Comments
  1. Rajika permalink
    October 12, 2010 7:35 PM

    Tanu… This is a great post and so true! I can relate to this so well. I guess our answers will only get answered once men treat women as equal partners and women start to respect themselves and other women. Live and let live!

    • tanuanand permalink*
      October 12, 2010 7:49 PM

      Thanks Rajika.. And you are right. Unless their mentality of a ‘homely woman’ as they like to call us, changes, there is nothing we can do. But I must say, it disturbed me a bit. I was suddenly very conscious of what I was portraying myself as and found myself, withdrawing into a shell.

  2. aditi permalink
    October 12, 2010 8:46 PM

    this is so true !!not even married..even otherwise..guys hav this pre-conceived notion about girls who like to party and hav fun! its crazy.. i hope our new generation brings a change in the society!

  3. October 20, 2010 11:37 AM

    brilliant post…you go girl!!
    Society is never going to run out of questions. But that doesn’t mean we stop living our life our way.

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